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Archive: Blingtards

Blingtard or Bombshell?

That belly bling just isn’t enough to distract from the fact that your outfit is missing a few layers!

Bobbsey Twins

Uggh! Not only do they have hideous body shapes, they have no sense of style… not even close! bobsytwins

What is up with the blue outfit’s fabric covering the knees like that? and can some one please get her a shoe base stat!?

Glaring errors

Well, I thought I’d make my first post here a piccy that I’d snapped myself a while ago. This perp is breaking so many rules, I don’t think she’ll ever be eligable for parole! Lets examine Exhibit A:

Bling off?   Please

The eyes are immediately drawn to the bling. I mean you’d have to be blind to miss it and if you got too close, you’d probably wind up losing your retinas. Some people think this looks good, however we at the SLFP know this isn’t the case. Secondly, lets look at the shape for a moment. Her boobs are separated by such a vast chasm that I’m sure I could probably park a bus in her cleavage. They look too flat too, which is rare in SL, so some credit to her for daring to be different 😀 Still on the body, her calves seem to have been grafted from a Russian shotputter and somehow don’t match with such dainty ankles and non-eventful thighs.

On the subject of thighs, anyone spot the gap in her bodyoil, which just happens to be outside her thong. I mean, thats two basic cautions right there. Failure to comprehend layers and wearing cheap, nasty bodyoil.


So, to sum up, this crim is sporting way too much bling, has boobs you could land a plane between, has calves that look like they were glued on and applies her body oil over her thong and likes to miss a bit on her thighs. Apparently, thats the next big thing.

I hand this one over to the jury for sentencing.

Officer A. Shinji.

*Anonymous Submission: This lil light of Mine

I didn’t have words to say to this girl. The glowing labia ring shut me up speechless.


*Annonymous Submission*

Ok. So I’m standing in [location ommitted] today, minding my own business, when the sound of horse clodding shoes come up behind me. All of a sudden, I get knocked 5 feet forward. I turn around to see who the culprit was, and YIKES. There stands a horridly clueless, 7′ tall bling-ho, with enough tits and ass to supply half the grid. Frantically fumbling for my sunglasses to keep from being blinded from her jewelry (or her skin oil), I notice this wheel on her finger. WAIT, that is a ring!?? o.O Mr. T doesn’t have rings this big. Standing like a deer caught in headlights, I immediately thought, “FASHION POLICE! PLEASE ARREST THIS PERSON FOR ….” well, my head got overwhelmed after about the 25th thing. After taking several incriminating photos, I had to get away. BUT not before getting a nice view of the cute tattoo on her ass, which as you can see from the picture, it didnt’ take a lot of effort to see. *sigh*



*Annonymous Submission*

I’m fairly sure this was supposed to be a paisley pattern, used and abused far beyond recognition. Not to mention the belly button ring that looks curiously like one of those long conical spiral seashells… she IS at Armidi, though, which means that maybe she is reaching out for help.


P.S. Those boots look like oddly shaped flats but they’re actually supported by a stiletto thinner than her thong straps.

Amazon Gangsta-Bling

So I just could not believe it when shortly after rezzing to a furniture store, this thing came in right behind me. Might I point out a few things?

  • The COMPLETE LACK OF PROPORTION TO ANY NORMAL HUMAN! You can see this better in the second picture I attached. That is myself behind her, and with heels i think I am 6’2″ or something similar.
  • The amount of bling. Enough said.
  • The oil. Also enough said.
  • The calves of steel and badass shades, then the teddy bear strapped to her thigh. Honey, when are you gonna pull that little guy out? Never mind, I don’t want to know.
  • The second teddy bear, on her shoulder
  • Hands that are too small for a frame that large….
  • And finally, the shirt that appears to have been either an afterthought of the outfit, or all her flying around got it too tangled up and it’s just stuck up there on a boob.

~A victim of bling