SL Fashion Police

With summer fast approaching I’ve been noticing a lot of you ladies are getting your tan-on early. Let’s address this now, before it gets out of hand.

NOT SEXY! I’m having Malibu Barbie flash backs!!

Agree/Disagree??

~Chief D. Rockin

The reports are wicked backed up (as always) and I appreciate all the submissions coming in, but before I could post anything else I just had to put this out there….actually, I had no part in putting *it* out there…it’s exposed for all the world to see and it’s not pretty! I can’t imagine it feels that great either!

Please Do NOT Attempt this at home! This woman (?) is clearly a “professional” and has many, many hours of practice under her belt…literally. LOL

So I was at the [edited] sale, minding my own business, camming around, when all of a sudden my screen was
filled with the bare ass and caged penis of a German she-male. S/he must have been quite drafty without
underwear or a shirt, though I’ve heard pierced prim nipples are an excellent heat source. She’s not bad
looking overall, (beyond the ginormous boobs) but the sheer inappropriateness at a store is what made me
take the picture and send it your way. Plus, it kind of amuses me.

Happy St. Patty’s Day!!

We’re taking the day off…so go on…get Lucky! Get Dunk! Cover yourself in Shamrocks and Green Beer and go wild!

Just don’t let us catch you wearing this tomorrow!

~Chief D. Rockin

Okay people, after last nights exciting news…well for me (if you missed it, check the comments of the last post) . We need to shape up or ship out! Going forward, we will only process high quality images.

As much as we hate to see a penis in public, I need to be considerate of the fact that some times things just don’t rez. So in cases like the one below, when you can clearly see surrounding avatars are rezzing themselves, I could tend to believe that the Avie in question may have been wearing light weight/colored clothing…maybe a few flexi prims as camouflage?

(more…)

We knew this was coming so it’s no surprise. I’ll give this avie +2 points for attempting to be realistic with her “other” porportions (lips, ass, and thighs)… but -10 for grossing me out by not covering her undercarriage.

I’ll cut this early on as well, seeing how it’s borderline NSFW

(more…)

*Attaches Science Lab Goggles from 9th grade and proceeds with post*

We all know there is no such thing as seasons in SL and it never gets chilly, so either this chick just finished some intense cybersex’n or she’s found herself some prim-plants.

Oh, and in multiple colors even!

We know sculpties are exciting and new, but this is just careless! She is gonna do some serious damage walking about like that! A lil sim lag and some one is liable to impale them selves on her nipples.

~Chief D. Rockin

There I am, innocently rocking out to my good friend Nexeus Fatale’s mix, when out of the corner of my eye, I spy a little nudity.  And it’s not the good kind either.  So I put my superior camera shopping skills to work to follow the trussed-up nude around until she finally stopped long enough for me to get a really good picture (front and back )

The first picture is actually rather disturbing, in a number of ways. 

Since there are so many things with this picture that makes my cat cry, I thought I’d go from top to bottom, then point out THE MOST DISTURBING THING I’VE EVER SEEN!

The hair.  Actually, the hair is not disturbing in and of itself, but it’s a big contradiction to the rest of the “ensemble.”  I’ve even shown hair that crazy on my own self, so it’s not so bad.  But the two pieces way at the top don’t look textured very well, unless my camera was a little blurry from the shaking and sobbing when I was forced to witness this abomination.

I won’t even really say anything about the cow-like ring through the nose.  God knows what those Goreans and BDSM people are up to (I have spent some time in and around this society – not Gorean – and I’ve found that quite a few “Masters” are playing around with something they don’t really understand.  Maybe this is some sort of statement?  I dunno, but I suspect the statement is “Run.  Run as fast and as far away as you can.”

The boobs are lovingly harnessed into some bad horror show of a halter? bra? Whatever it is, it highlights the shading rather unfortunately, and makes it seem like they’re completely independent of the rest of the body.  And what in the world is dangling off of them?  They don’t look like piercings, they look like earrings.

Ok, it’s bling.  Everyone put on your protective goggles before looking directly at it.  But not only is it bling, it’s random bling that makes no sense whatsoever.  What in the world is that?  I have been looking at this picture for like 5 days now, and I still can’t get a handle on what that is.  It’s safe to say it should not ever be worn.  Ever.

The most scary part of the entire look is dangling between her legs.  What the hell is THAT!!!?  I heard a term the other day that I had never heard (and google brought up some seriously scary and deranged pictures so I am not going to mention the term here), but that is ecactly what it looks like.  Why is it so big?  I can’t even think of how else to describe it except ask what the hell?!

The back is not as bad or as alarming as the front, but I am having a hard time picturing the boob harness attached to a big wide bow in the back.  It just doesn’t compute.

Am I just being a prude, wanting sexual stuff to stay in private and definitely not when I am out shopping or something else equally as innocuous as that?  Come on guys, help me out here!

~Sgt. Phoenix

Greetings Citizens!

As some of you already know, and have been anxiously awaiting, the SL Fashion Police was on patrol over this past weekend at the Second Life Community Convention (SLCC) in Chicago. The following crime scene photos were captured Saturday night at Stroker Serpentine’s Masquerade ball and while we only apprehended a few offenders, we have quite a list that we will be keeping a close eye on in the near future.

Offender #1: Indecent Exposure & Assault with a Deadly Weapon

It’s all fun an games till some one gets their eye poked out….with an exposed nipple! This perp racked up the charges when he attempted to “frisk” me. He is now undergoing shock therapy and will be released to a near by welcome center for 90 days of community service.

Offender #2: Possession of an Exotic Animal with out proper license

According to the facilities, common pets are allowed on site with proper restraints and proof of vaccination. This party goer failed to prove her pet was up to date with his shots…in fact she herself had already been bitten by the beast! Luckily I had my tazer and a spare muzzle when I took these two into custody. They will be forced to undergo an obedience training class before the charges are dropped.

And Lastly…

Offender #3: Hunting with out a license

This perp is a habitual offender, who has been on my radars for some time now and we finally caught up to him when he least expected. After making the mistake of offering to show me his night stick, I slapped him with a heavy fine and escorted him to the in house salon for a proper back waxing.

More photos can be seen [Here]

Or you can check out the SLCC Group on Flickr [Here]

Chief D. Rockin

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Have you been witness to SL Fashion Faux Pas? Send photo evidence and a brief description to SLFashionPolice[at]Gmail[dot]com

Extreme clothing ugliness has long been thought to blind onlookers, cause deafness in prim babies and cure gout (how else are they going to run as fast as they can from the scene?), but new information leads us to believe that now it is causing hand shrinkage in the wearer!

Please, for the sake of onlookers, prim babies and most importantly yourself, do not go out of your house looking like this.  We here at SL Fashion Police cannot stress the importance of needing proper-sized hands.  For how else will you be able to smack your friends when they don a hideous fashion mistake?

When we called the New York Yankees for comments, an official spokesman stated, “we are furious at this desecration of our uniform and plan to take legal action.”

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the SL Fashion Police and

~Sgt. Phoenix