SL Fashion Police

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I scoped out the Ms Beautiful Competition today and here are some of the highlights of girls who want to be models.

Fight world hunger by donating your buns?

Well at least she can reach the bottom of Heinz Ketchup Bottle in order to feed the hungry.

It’s time someone started coining ‘Your hips are so small’ jokes. Or it may be some new ‘levitating skirt’ fashion craze I am unaware of.

Enjoy!

We had a slight mishap at the station and our security was breached! The perps got away with about 5 months of case data stripping the site of some of SL’s worst offenders!

Rest assured that we will be working double time to capture and recover these missing files and have enhanced our security to avoid any such mishaps in the future.

If you should know the whereabouts of any missing cases, please report them at once to SLFP911[at]gmail[dot]com!

Dear Readers,

We here are SLFP wanna hear from you! A newer trend in fashion has popped up and we’re not quite sure if it’s a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

While I think the toes are quite cute and much better then the boxy avatar toes, we’ve never seen them done in a manner that they look natural.

One observer exclaimed: it looks like some one stole someone else’s toes and sewed them a pair of shoes.

I have not yet had a chance to launch a full investigation, so I’m calling out to all the Jr. Fashion Police Agents on the grid to help determine if prim toes are a Yay or Nay?

I know there are times when it feels as if all the good guys are taken. You may wander aimlessly in search of love, or an occasional one night stand. You’re seeking attention and resort to extremes. Sometimes it feels as though you can’t even even give it away for free.

We feel your pain. We see you desperation. We beg you to remember that old saying… why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free and for gawd sake find some clothes!  

*editors note: This is one of the cutest avies I’ve seen come through, but we really don’t need to see the whole kit & caboodle. Please help her!! 

And I can’t help but agree…. Where is a paper bag when you need one?

Oh, and next time you think about trying to pick up “My Man” you better check yourself, cause you’ve Seriously Wrecked Yourself!

It’s October and all over the internets people are going pink to show their support for The Cause

Naturally, we’re seeing an influx in avatars supporting the cause in their own ways….

While we fully support and love Boobies….we’d prefer it if you didn’t apply the “Go big or go home” to them…. good lord woman, you’re gonna poke someone’s Face out!!

Tonight’s runner up in the Wet and Wild T-shirt competition:

They nearly lost 2 contestants and a judge to that medusa like mane. Yetch.

First, The Good News – My computer is almost back to normal….AND…. HOMME is Back too!!

Join us at none other then Seven Ultra Lounge, cause we know you love it as much as we do , tomorrow starting at 6pm SLT for their Re-Launch Party! Be sure you “Dress to Impress”

Now, The Bad News…. The grid is in total disarray!

I turn my back for a couple of weeks… okay, Months… and the station phones are ringing off the hook! Reports are pouring in and I gotta say… it’s NOT Pretty!

With the state of the economy we understand that some of you may have no other choice but to take on some part time work, and what better way to earn some quick cash then prostitution, right? Wrong!! If your face looks like you just fell off the back of a Mac truck, all the SLexing in SL isn’t gonna earn you a dime. Please do yourself a favor and find a much, much darker corner to slang your ass.

Thrift Shoppes and bargain basements can be a great alternative when you’re on a budget, but if your boobs are saggin this bad, we’re gonna have to ask that you forgo the halter tops…especially the extremely unsupportive ones made out of Gramma’s afghan! Are those really boots or did she swipe a couple of traffic cones to complete this look? Yetch.

And lastly….Designers, a plea to you…Please stop forcing your models to cram their feet into shoes 3 sizes too small!  Is it not enough sufferage for them to live on a diet of cigarettes and prim-fast bars?

That’s all I got folks. I hope these lessons serve you well!!

Until next time….

Officer D. Rockin

Lately we`ve seen a major crime wave on the grid, and the victim is always the same: the ass.  Today, I am focusing on Seven Ultra Lounge,where most of the patrons look pretty good, but sometimes an offender slips through, and of course, the SL Fashion Police is there to make the apprehension!

Now, this poor unfortunate soul’s pants appear to have been eaten by her ass, leaving her undies exposed, and it appears her belt is next on the menu.  Now, lest there be confusion, I am not mocking her ass, I’m sure it’s perfectly adequate and she doesn’t fall over when she sits or anything.  But feed it, before it starts snacking on your clothes!

This dancer getting her groove on must’ve gotten dressed in the dark, because she is missing a very important part of her look:  pants!  Or a skirt, anything, something!  I’m all for looking sexy and cute, but there is a line and that line is: no one should be able to give you a gynocological exam at the club! (Unless you’re in the bathroom, and ermm…yeah)

Today’s report has been brought to you by the Society for the Advocation of Pants.

~Sgt. Phoenix